In this episode of Stay at the Top, I share three reasons why celebrating milestones and small wins is not just a nice idea, but a performance strategy. Especially for high performers who are ambitious, driven, and constantly raising the bar.
I also share a personal milestone that I have not shared anywhere else. Not on Instagram. Not on LinkedIn. Not even on my email list yet. I wanted to share it here first, with you, because this podcast community means a lot to me.
This episode is a reminder that celebrating progress is not indulgent. It reinforces behaviour, builds confidence through evidence, and helps you stop living in a constant cycle of chasing the next thing without ever feeling successful.
In this episode I share:
- Why high performers often struggle to celebrate milestones
- The moving goalpost problem and how it steals success
- Why celebrating small wins reinforces behaviour you want to repeat
- How celebrating builds confidence through evidence
- The identity shift that comes from keeping your word to yourself
- My personal milestone and special announcement shared here first
- What I have learned about making the ask and not saying no on someone else’s behalf
- Why reps and sets apply to confidence, courage and leadership too
Key Quotes
“When you celebrate the small wins, you send a message that you want to repeat the behaviour.”
“Confidence is built through evidence.”
“If you don’t ask, you don’t get.”
Episode Resources
Jessica Spendlove Website – www.jessicaspendlove.com
Jessica Spendlove Keynotes – JessicaspendloveKeynotes – Jessica Spendlove
The High-Performance Profile Quiz https://jessicaspendlove.com/quiz/
Jess Spendlove Instagram https://www.instagram.com/jess_spendlove_dietitian/?hl=en
Jess Spendlove LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-spendlove-64173bb8/
About Your Host
Jessica Spendlove | Wellbeing Speaker & High Performance Strategist
Jess Spendlove is an international wellbeing and high performance speaker, coach, and advisor. With over 15 years of experience across corporate leadership, elite sport and the military she is known for helping ambitious leaders and teams optimise energy, build resilience, and sustain peak performance.
As one of Australia’s leading performance dietitians and a trusted voice in executive wellbeing, Jess delivers science-backed strategies that empower individuals, teams and organisations to thrive under pressure and achieve long-term success.
Episode Transcript
The following transcript has been automatically generated and not checked for accuracy
Jess Spendlove (00:03.266)
Do you stop and celebrate the milestones or maybe even the small wins?
To be honest, it’s not something I’ve been good at, but it’s something that I’ve been reflecting on and that is the focus for today’s episode. I want to give you three reasons why it’s so important that you stop and celebrate the milestones. Now, I guess the focus for me here today is from a work context, but it really is in any area of your life. It can be from a health lens, it can be from a finance lens, it can be really from any lens where you’ve achieved a milestone.
And even if it’s not a milestone, I’m also all for celebrating the small wins. Because when we celebrate the small wins, we acknowledge them and it also sends a message that we want to repeat this behaviour. But for the context of today’s episode, for mine, it is a significant milestone that I’m celebrating. And I also want to share what that is here first. Now, I’m not actually going to be sharing this on any other platform.
LinkedIn or my Instagram. I’m not even going to be sharing it on my email list for the time being that will be the next place that I do share this but I wanted to share it here.
with you because this podcast is really important to me. I really value every single person that tunes in. And so I wanted this to be somewhere where we could celebrate this together. And so if you hear it and you do message me, that means I do know that you tune in to stay at the top and I am so very grateful, which is again, why I wanted to keep this between us for now. The first things first, three reasons why you should stop
Jess Spendlove (01:47.286)
and celebrate the milestones. And especially if this is not something that you’re particularly good at. I know for myself it was something I just used to kind of like not do. I would just set a goal, achieve it, and then I would move the goalposts I would move on to the next thing. But nowadays I really do try and stop and celebrate the big things, but also the small things as well. We’re here for all of it. So the first reason that you want to stop and you want to celebrate the milestones are because
because by doing so, stops the moving goal post problem. So what I mean by that, and if you’re guilty of this, you’ll know exactly what I mean, is like I just kind of mentioned before, previously, I would think about a goal, I would set it, I would achieve it, and then I would move on to the next thing straight away. I wouldn’t even stop and go, wow.
That’s so amazing that you achieved this goal that you set out to do, that you added another sports team, that you have started doing keynote talks to CEOs and unicorn founders. And also you did that when you were 14 weeks postpartum.
I should have been really stopping and celebrating that. That is a significant thing. Twofold. One, because that was a goal that I had, I really want to move in the direction of being a keynote speaker and I’m making, taking the steps to do that.
But two, I also did it when I was a mum. And for me, did have, you know, I wasn’t sure how running a business and being ambitious and having a baby and all of this was going to go. And look, there was some behind the scenes chaos. There was a lot of chaos, but I did it. I went to Melbourne and I went to Queenstown and I went to the Hunter Valley and I spoke to these incredible people and I shared my knowledge and my expertise.
Jess Spendlove (03:50.976)
added value to them. I really should have stopped and celebrated that a lot more and that is why now this year in particular with the milestone that I’m going to share with you a little bit later in the episode I am stopping and celebrating these milestones and so for me this time I just went for three days two nights to Byron Bay with Millie. It was a girls trip and it was interesting. Look it was amazing.
I’m very grateful that I got to go. I’m very grateful that I got to go with her.
but I definitely wasn’t relaxing. Maybe I should have known that. Maybe I should have realised travelling solo with a 13 month old for two nights, know, getting on a train and getting on a plane and then getting to Byron. One thing I did do which I’m really happy about is stay in the town. So once we got there we only had to walk around and it was amazing and I’m grateful that I got to go and you know please don’t think I’m not saying that but it definitely
definitely wasn’t relaxing. It was still lovely to share some of my favourite walks and cafes and moments with her and you know, being in the pool at the hotel which she loved. But yeah, but…
know, the point of us going was to stop, was to celebrate, was to share that moment with her. And it was also because I’ve sacrificed a lot of time with her the last month. With this project that I’ve been working on, it’s been nearly a seven day a week gig. And that’s my own fault because I committed to something with a really short timeline. And now that the first milestone has been achieved, you know, I’m thrilled. And the rest of the time that I’m going to be spending
Jess Spendlove (05:41.5)
on it will be a lot more within the normal hours that I work three to four days a week but it just required a really intensive period to get that done. But anyway the first point of this episode is to say it’s really important that you
stop and celebrate the milestones because it stops you from the moving goalpost problem which is so common in high performers or motivated and driven people that you get to where you’re going, you tick the box and then you already reset and you raise the standard for where you’re wanting to go. Whereas when you stop and you celebrate what you’ve achieved that helps you feel successful, that helps you acknowledge what
you’ve done and it doesn’t then just become something you chase and something you become addicted to that feeling of chasing, getting there and going again.
The second reason that you want to stop and celebrate a milestone is because it reinforces the behaviour that you want to repeat. And part of that process is keeping your word to yourself. And so for me, with what I’ve been working on over this last month, there were days where I was doing long days and I was doing all the brain breaks and I really stepped up my brain break game. My brain break game. Wow, that’s a tongue twister.
I really stepped up my brain break game the last month because of cognitively what I had to do and maybe that’s another episode coming up. All of the different brain breaks I got creative with. But part of the stopping and pausing and reinforcing was I really knuckled down and committed to something and just got on with it. And it’s so interesting, know, it’s kind of…
Jess Spendlove (07:41.88)
you the saying where it’s like, you’ll take as long, or it’s not even the same, but you know, the principle that you take as long to complete something is what you’ve got. Now, this project that I’ve been working on, I could have faffed around on this for months. To be honest, it’s something I’ve been thinking about for years and I’ve been in discussions with a few different people about bringing it to life. And for different reasons, it didn’t happen. And then when the opportunity arose end of last year, with a really
short timeline it just felt like I had to say yes. The timing felt right. There was a series of steps that happened before it and I was like you’re going on holidays you’re going to actually take a few weeks off because I was quite exhausted at the end of last year. I guess the first year of being a mum, being a business owner and just navigating all of that. So I committed to still taking a few weeks off which I knew meant I would have a few weeks less
to complete this project but I also knew if I was more rested and more fresh that
It wasn’t about the quantity of time, it was about the quality. And I’m so glad I did that. But the point of all of that is, is often we’ll take up the amount of time that we’ve got. So if we need to get something done in two hours, we’ll get it done in two hours. Whereas if we’ve got two weeks, I don’t know about you, but I’m faffing around and procrastinating and pushing it to the back of the list, even if it’s an important task. If I’ve got two weeks, I’m not taking two hours to complete something. Are you? If you are.
Amazing. Keep doing that. But the majority of us were taking the two weeks.
Jess Spendlove (09:26.101)
And so the second reason you want to stop and you want to celebrate a milestone is because it reinforces the behaviour you want to repeat. So when you acknowledge the process and the progress, you strengthen the habit loop and you strengthen the likelihood that you will keep showing up and you will keep doing the reps and sets required to achieve said goal that you were trying to do. So reason two is it reinforces the behaviour you want to
repeat and that is something incredibly important to you, your identity and continuing to do those reps and sets. And now the third reason
It builds confidence through evidence.
And this is what we need. So when you celebrate yourself, you are training your brain to recognise that I am someone who follows through. I am someone who keeps my word. I am someone who completes the task. And again, this is this identity piece. I don’t know about you, but whenever I’ve thought about doing something or committed to it and then I haven’t followed through on it, I do get a little bit
of self-doubt, I guess that accumulates, that kind of compounds there. Whereas when you say you’re gonna do something, and in particular, if it’s something that pushes you out of your comfort zone, that reinforces to you that I can do this thing. I can do hard things, I commit to something, I achieve it. I do it. And then we need to stop and we need to celebrate that. We need to acknowledge that because that helps reinforce it and it helps build confidence.
Jess Spendlove (11:13.594)
And now, and so in saying all of that, the thing that inspired today’s episode, and I do want to also say that
you are the first people that I am sharing this with. I am actually not planning on sharing this on any other platform like LinkedIn or Instagram. I’m not even going to share it on my email list just yet. I’m only sharing it here on Stay At The Top and so if you listen and if you hear this and you feel like you do want to reach out to me about it, please do but know that that will also mean so much to me because I know that you listen to Stay At The Top.
because I have only shared this, I am only sharing this here, at least for a while until we’re further along in the process. But the reason, the reason I wanted to record today’s episode, the reason I wanted to talk about why it’s so important to stop and celebrate milestones is because the milestone that I am celebrating is I have just submitted a manuscript.
for my first book. So Monday, the 9th of February, so just a few days ago, 9am, I submitted my full manuscript for my first book. I’m publishing it with Wiley. And yeah, it’s been a big, intense…
month or so. Very intense. Look, it’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while. I’ve had a few different book ideas swirling around in my head. But you know, I guess what’s the saying, you can’t miss something that’s meant for you. And there was a few, there were just a few things that happened end of last year, a sequence of events which ended up happening. And I was talking to a few publishing houses, but or publishers, but yeah,
Jess Spendlove (13:13.753)
felt right from a timing perspective, from an energetics perspective and a relationship perspective to go with Wiley. So I am not going to share the title or the full detail of the book yet but the plan is for it to be released later this year, August I believe.
I don’t have the date, I don’t have any of that. There’s still a lot more to do in the next few months while the editors and the copy editors and the copywriters come back and we work together. It’s been, it’s a really interesting process actually. I really…
wasn’t sure what the process was for writing a book. Definitely not something I have done before. I do know a few people who have published, so maybe I should have asked more questions, but it’s one of those things like, you know, don’t know what you don’t know. It’s a really incredible collaborative process though. It’s, you know, from someone like myself, I guess, who would be a subject matter expert.
It really allows you to lean into your knowledge, theoretically, but also from lived experience. So from elite athletes and clients I’ve worked with, even myself, I actually share quite a lot of my own journey in that book.
more than I intended. It just kind of came out as I was writing and there were a lot of lessons and the process that we’re now about to go on is that I’m working with a copy editor to, you know, elevate what I’ve written even further. So anyway, that’s the news. It’s very exciting. It’s something I’ve been wanting to do. For me, it feels like an important step on the path that I’m on. I really am committed to doing more speaking.
Jess Spendlove (15:11.963)
doing more keynote speaking and more workshops at conferences, at events, with large organizations, that kind of thing. And it really feels like an important step in terms of sharing my expertise, my methodology, hopefully helping accelerate that process. So it will be out later this year. I will share all of the information here first. For now, like I said, it’s between us. So I’m not sharing it anywhere else.
anywhere near in the future. yeah, like I said, if you want to reach out, it could be our little secret and yeah, it’d be really nice to know that this is going to be a value add because that’s my intention. It’s really to help people have practical tools.
to give them more energy, to help them recover better, to help them elevate their wellbeing and also help them sustain their performance. it’s designed, the focus of it is to give you tools that are going to work now, today, tomorrow, but they’re also gonna help future you. So they’re gonna help you in five years time, in 10 years time, in 20, even 40 years time. And so that’s what the focus of the book is about. But the last thing I wanted
to share is something I’ve been reflecting on quite a bit this year, which is if you don’t ask, you don’t get. And if anyone listened to the episode I did with Dr. Joe Lukens last season, it was amazing episode, highly recommend. But she said something in there which was like a light bulb moment for me. And it was, don’t say no on someone else’s behalf. I love that. So strong, so powerful. And so for me, I’ve had a lot of hesitation on
Asking people, this is people I’ve got good will with, relationships with, I’ve worked with. I’ve struggled to ask them for help. And that has either been in terms of maybe giving me a testimonial, that might be if they know someone that I’m trying to connect with. I haven’t quite gotten to that. That’s still a work in progress. It might be if they weren’t.
Jess Spendlove (17:24.275)
if they’re open to contributing an author endorsement or a testimonial for the book. And so that’s what got me reflecting on this last point for today because one thing I’ve committed to this year is getting out of this analysis paralysis and making the ask.
And again, if someone can, they will. And if they can’t, try to take it not as personally. Just because someone can’t do something, that isn’t necessarily because they don’t want to. They can have other things going on. And this is something I’m really trying to reinforce. But I am finding it’s like anything. The more you do something, you know, and the more you do your reps and sets, the kind of easier it gets. And the reason I bring this up is because with the book,
I’ve been starting to think about who I would love.
that I’ve crossed paths with in my career, either as an athlete, as a CEO, as a high profile personality who might endorse me as an author or my work for the book. And so I’ve been making more asks than I normally would in reference to that. And I have been pleasantly surprised, so surprised by how many people, the majority, have come back to me and said, yes, they’d absolutely love
to support, they’d love to be in service and it’s just it’s just lovely. One, it’s lovely to know that.
Jess Spendlove (18:55.603)
there was enough of an impact and a relationship there that they were willing to do that. And two, it’s probably a nice reinforcement for someone like myself who is just hesitating on making the ask. And so if this is you, if you find you’re hesitating on the ask, let’s make a commitment together that we’re going to flex those muscles this year and we’re going to continue to do that. And look, if you’re listening to this and you don’t have a problem making an ask,
Keep doing that. I’m very jealous. Maybe send me a voice note and give me some pep talks.